Think Twice Before You get That Tattoo

Removing Tattoos: Who Does It and Why

Study Shows More Women Than Men Decide to Get Rid of a Tattoo

By Kelley Colihan
WebMD Health News

Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD

July 21, 2008 -- It seemed a good idea at the time. But you were young, wild, and in love with Roland. Now you are getting married to Ed and you want Roland's name off your right calf.

It seems that when it comes to getting tattoos removed, more women than men go in for the procedure.

Researchers compared results of a 1996 study to a 2006 study looking at how people feel about their tattoos. Participants were people who came to four dermatology clinics in Arizona, Colorado, Massachusetts, and Texas.

The study was led by Myrna L. Armstrong, RD, EdD, of the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center.

In background information presented with the findings, the researchers write "the vast majority of individuals who are tattooed are pleased with their skin markings (up to 83%)."

Apparently about a fifth are estimated to be unhappy with their tattoos, while "only about 6% seek removal."

In the 2006 study, researchers interviewed 196 tattooed people; 130 of them were women and 66 were men.

The researchers found that today more women (69%) than men (31%) came in to get tattoos removed.

According to the 2006 study, a typical woman who gets a tattoo is between the ages of 24 and 29.

Most women with tattoos are white, college educated, and unmarried. They describe themselves as "risk takers, from stable families, with moderate to strong religious beliefs."

More women are motivated to get the tattoo removed because of pressure from others or social stigma.

The top six reasons both men and women gave for tattoo removal:

• 58% just decided to remove it.
• 57% suffered embarrassment.
• 38% had lowered body image.
• 38% new job/career.
• 37% problem with clothes.
• 25% experienced stigma.

(Do you have tattoos? Have you ever considered having any removed? Talk with others on the Health Cafe board.)

Why People Get Tattoos

The 2006 study shows people get tattoos for these reasons:

• 44% wanted to feel unique.
• 33% wanted to feel independent.
• 28% wanted to bring attention to a particular life experience.

The researchers write that one out of four American adults aged 18 to 30 has a tattoo.

In both studies, the main reason for wanting to get rid of a tattoo was that people had a "shift in their identities," and wanted to do away with the past.

The findings appear in the Archives of Dermatology.

Can Your Job Help You Lose Weight?

Study Shows Wellness Programs Are Useful Tools for Weight Loss

By Kelley Colihan
WebMD Health News

Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD

June 30, 2008 -- Workplace wellness programs are effective in helping employees lose weight, a research review shows.

Researchers sifted through 11 studies published since 1994, some which were updated in 2006. Most of the programs involved education and counseling to improve diet and increase physical activity.

Some programs offered a health risk assessment and lab work; others provided one-on-one and email counseling. Only one included on-site

exercise sessions, and another added healthy menu items in the cafeteria, along with nutritional information.

The work-site intervention programs lasted a minimum of eight weeks and involved workers aged 32 to 52.

Before and after the start of the work-site intervention the participants had their BMI (body mass index) or weight taken.

Workplace Weight Loss

On average participants lost 2-14 pounds compared to employees not involved in the work-site weight loss intervention programs.

The workers that did not participate either lost an average of 1 and 1/2 pounds, or gained an average of 1 pound.

So do on-the-job weight loss programs work? "For people who participate in them, work-site-based programs do tend to result in weight loss," researcher Michael Benedict, MD, from the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine, says in a news release.

What seems to matter most when it comes to dropping the pounds? The in-your-face approach, according to Benedict. "Programs that incorporated face-to-face contact more than once a month appeared to be more effective than other programs."

However, since the follow-up was slim it was hard to draw conclusions about whether the weight would stay off, Benedict says. From 56% to 100% of the participants finished the studies, which ranged from two to 18 months. "People who participate in these programs can lose weight, but we aren't really sure what happens after that."

In an article that runs alongside the review, authors point out that "65% of adults in the U.S. are classified as overweight or obese."

The researchers add that work-site weight loss programs can provide "unique opportunities for decreasing adult obesity."

The pros:

• Emotional support from colleagues.
• A structured program can offer opportunities to learn about nutrition and exercise.

The researchers write that employees have been offering more work wellness programs.

According to the researchers, a separate 2003 study showed that "approximately 6% of all U.S. health care costs ($75 billion dollars) were related to excess body weight."

It's not clear how much money employers could save if they offered weight loss programs. "Employers want to know that what they're doing will have a positive return on investment," Benedict says.

Benedict writes that efforts to curb obesity at work can look for success to similar workplace programs, including a drive to help people quit smoking and lower their blood pressure, a win-win for employers.

The researchers admit the data have limits; they call for "vigorous, controlled studies of work-site-based interventions that integrate educational, behavioral, environmental and economic supports."

The research is published in the July-August issue of American Journal of Health Promotion.

Women: Eat Well, Live Longer?

Diet of Whole Foods Associated With Lower Risk of Death in Women

By Kelley Colihan
WebMD Health News

Reviewed by Elizabeth Klodas, MD, FACC

June 23, 2008 -- Eating well is good for us. But can eating a certain way also help you live longer and cut your chances of developing heart disease, cancer, diabetes and stroke?

A new study suggests a link between what women eat and whether they die from certain diseases.

72,000 women, 30 to 55 years old, who had no history of health problems at the beginning of the study. The study spanned 18 years, from 1984 to 2002; every two to four years, the women answered questionnaires about what they ate.

Researchers led by Christin Heidemann from Harvard's School of Public Health and the German Institute of Human Nutrition tracked more than

Two distinct dietary patterns emerged.

Researchers called one pattern the "high prudent" diet. This included lots of vegetables, fruit, legumes, and whole grains, as well as lean protein sources such as fish and poultry.

The other dietary pattern, dubbed "Western," included more red and processed meat, refined grains, french fries, sugary foods, and desserts.

It Pays to Be 'Prudent'

During 18 years of tracking, 6,011 of the participants died.

Women with the most "prudent diet" had a 28% lower risk of dying from heart disease. They also had a 17% lower risk of death from all the diseases studied, including cancer, diabetes, and stroke.

Women who followed a diet highest in meats, processed and refined foods, and sweets had a 22% higher risk of dying from heart disease. They also had a 21% increased risk of dying from all causes combined.

"These results highlight the importance of intensifying public health efforts to promote the adoption of a healthy overall diet including high intakes of vegetables, fruit, legumes, whole grains, fish and poultry and low intakes of red and processed meat, refined grains, French fries and sweets," says Heidemann in a prepared statement.

"Traditionally, there has been a focus on single nutrients or foods, but in terms of longevity a greater focus on dietary patterns can take into account the complexity of the overall diet," Heidemann says.

Healthy Diet, Lifestyle Tips

Here are some lifestyle and diet guidelines from the American Heart Association, which are in line with following a "prudent" diet:

• Limit saturated fat, trans fat, cholesterol, and sodium.
• Minimize sugary foods and beverages.
• Eat lots of vegetables, fruits, and whole-grain and high-fiber foods.
• Eat fat-free and low-fat dairy products.
• Eat fish at least twice a week.
• Be physically active and keep weight at healthy levels.
• Avoid using or breathing tobacco smoke.
• Achieve and maintain healthy cholesterol, blood pressure, and blood glucose levels.

The study is published in Circulation: Journal of the American Heart Association

10 Healthy Foods Under $1

Most of us don't need to hear it or read it ... we have felt it in our wallets every time we've gone to the grocery store. But just because food prices are rising doesn't mean you can't make healthy food choices.

The good news is that many foods that are good for you are also cheap. Here is our list of the top healthy foods you can find in your grocery store for under a dollar.

Prices may vary based on the store, location, and time of year.

1. Apples

Great for: Snacks, green salads, main dish salads, and fruit salads.

What's a serving? 1 large apple.

Price per serving: About $1. Apples sell for about $1.99 per pound, and an extra large crisp apple weighs about 1/2 pound.

Nutrition Info per serving: 117 calories, 5 grams fiber, 17% Daily Value for vitamin C, and 7% Daily Value for potassium.

2. Bananas

Great for: Snacks and fruit salads, yogurt parfaits, and smoothies.

What's a serving? 1 banana.

Price per serving: About 45 cents. Bananas sell for about $0.89 per pound, and a large banana weighs about 1/2 pound

Nutrition Info per serving: 121 calories, 3.5 grams fiber, 14% Daily Value for potassium (487 mg), 20% Daily Value for vitamin C.

3. Baby Carrots (in bags)

Great for: Snacks, casseroles, stews, veggie platters, and side dishes.

What's a serving? About 1/2 cup or 2 ounces raw.

Price per serving: 19 cents. A 16-ounce bag costs about $1 on sale and contains about 8 servings (2 ounces each).

Nutrition Info per serving: 27 calories, 2 grams of fiber, 200% Daily Value for vitamin A, and 7% Daily Value for vitamin C.

4. Canned Beans

Great for: Green salads, casseroles, stews, and chili. Types of beans range from 50% less sodium kidney beans and black beans to white beans and garbanzo beans.

What's a serving? Each can contains about 3.5 (1/2-cup) servings.

Price per serving: About 28 cents. You can buy a 15-ounce can for about $1 on sale.

Nutrition Info per serving: About 120 calories (for kidney beans), 7 grams protein, 6 grams fiber, and 6% Daily Value for calcium, and 10% Daily Value for iron.

5. Canned Tomatoes

Great for: Italian and Mexican recipes, chili, stew, and casseroles. Flavor options range from no-salt-added sliced stewed tomatoes to diced tomatoes with garlic and olive oil.

What's a serving? One can contains about 3.5 (1/2-cup) servings.

Price per serving: About 28 cents. You can buy a 14.5-ounce can for about $1 on sale (often less for store brands).

Nutrition Info per serving: About 25 calories, 1 gram fiber, 10% Daily Value of vitamin A, and 15% Daily Value of vitamin C.

6. Oranges (extra large navel oranges)

Great for: Snacks, green salads, and fruit salads.

What's a serving? 1 large or extra large orange.

Price per serving: 40 cents for a large orange and 79 cents for an extra large orange. Oranges sell for around $0.79 per pound, and a large orange is about 1/2 pound, whereas an extra large orange is about 1 pound.

Nutrition Info per serving: (for an 8 ounce orange): 106 calories, 5.5 grams fiber, 10% Daily Value for vitamin A, 200% Daily Value vitamin C, 17% Daily Value for folate, 9% Daily Value for calcium, and 12% potassium.

7. Pears

Great for: Snacks, as an appetizer with cheese, green salads, and fruit salads.

What's a serving? 1 large pear

Price per serving: about 45 cents for a large pear. Pears sell for about $0.90 per pound, and a large pear weighs about 1/2 pound.

Nutrition Info per serving: 133 calories, 7 grams of fiber, 16% Daily Value for vitamin C, and 8% for potassium.

8. Lentils (dry)

Great for: Soups and stews, cold bean salads, and casseroles.

What's a serving? 2 ounces (dry)

Price per serving: 14 cents. A 16 ounce bag sells for $1.12 (on sale) and contains eight servings.

Nutrition Info per serving: 195 calories, 14 grams protein, 6 grams fiber, 24% Daily Value for Iron, 10% Daily Value for magnesium and potassium.

9. Pearl Barley (dry)

Great for: Soups and stews, cold salads, and casseroles.

What's a serving? 2 ounces (dry)

Price per serving: About 12 cents. A 16 ounce bag of dry pearl barley sells for about $0.94 and contains about 8 servings.

Nutrition Info per serving: 199 calories, 9 grams fiber, 2.5 grams soluble fiber, 6 grams protein, 8% Daily Value for iron, and 11% Daily Value for magnesium.

10. Yogurt (plain, lowfat, or fat-free)

Great for: Smoothies, yogurt parfait, dips, and dressings.

What's a serving? An 8-ounce or 6-ounce container is usually a serving.

Price per serving: 60 cents. This is usually the price for an 8-ounce container of plain yogurt.

Nutrition Info per serving: (for 8 ounces of fat-free plain yogurt): 130 calories, 13 grams of protein, 45% Daily Value for calcium, plus active cultures such as acidophilus and bifidus.

10Best Foods For Men

from "Men's Health" Magazine

Want to do your body a world of good? It's as easy as expanding your grocery list

Although some guys aren't opposed to smoking some weed, most wouldn't think of eating one. It's a shame, really, since a succulent weed named purslane is not only delicious but also among the world's healthiest foods.

Of course, there are many superfoods that never see the inside of a shopping cart. Some you've never heard of, and others you've simply forgotten about. That's why we've rounded up the best of the bunch. Make a place for them on your table and you'll instantly upgrade your health -- without a prescription.

1. Beets

These grungy-looking roots are naturally sweeter than any other vegetable, which means they pack tons of flavor underneath their rugged exterior.

Why they're healthy: Think of beets as red spinach. Just like Popeye's powerfood, this crimson vegetable is one of the best sources of both folate and betaine. These two nutrients work together to lower your blood levels of homocysteine, an inflammatory compound that can damage your arteries and increase your risk of heart disease. Plus, the natural pigments -- called betacyanins -- that give beets their color have been proved to be potent cancer fighters in laboratory mice.

How to eat them: Fresh and raw, not from a jar. Heating beets actually decreases their antioxidant power. For a simple single-serving salad, wash and peel one beet, and then grate it on the widest blade of a box grater. Toss with 1 tablespoon of olive oil and the juice of half a lemon.

You can eat the leaves and stems, which are also packed with vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. Simply cut off the stems just below the point where the leaves start, and wash thoroughly. They're now ready to be used in a salad. Or, for a side dish, sauté the leaves, along with a minced clove of garlic and a tablespoon of olive oil, in a sauté pan over medium-high heat. Cook until the leaves are wilted and the stems are tender. Season with salt and pepper and a squeeze of lemon juice, and sprinkle with fresh Parmesan cheese.

2. Cabbage

Absent from most American kitchens, this cruciferous vegetable is a major player in European and Asian diets.

Why it's healthy: One cup of chopped cabbage has just 22 calories, and it's loaded with valuable nutrients. At the top of the list is sulforaphane, a chemical that increases your body's production of enzymes that disarm cell-damaging free radicals and reduce your risk of cancer. In fact, Stanford University scientists determined that sulforaphane boosts your levels of these cancer-fighting enzymes higher than any other plant chemical.

How to eat it: Put cabbage on your burgers to add a satisfying crunch. Or, for an even better sandwich topping or side salad, try an Asian-style slaw. Here's what you'll need.

4 Tbsp peanut or canola oil
Juice of two limes
1 Tbsp sriracha, an Asian chili sauce you can find in the international section of your grocery store
1 head napa cabbage, finely chopped or shredded
1/4 cup toasted peanuts
1/2 cup shredded carrots
1/4 cup chopped cilantro

Whisk together the oil, lime juice, and sriracha. Combine the remaining ingredients in a large mixing bowl and toss with the dressing to coat. Refrigerate for 20 minutes before serving. The slaw will keep in your fridge for 2 days.

3. Guava

Guava is an obscure tropical fruit that's subtly acidic, with sweetness that intensifies as you eat your way to the center.

Why it's healthy: Guava has a higher concentration of lycopene -- an antioxidant that fights prostate cancer -- than any other plant food, including tomatoes and watermelon. In addition, 1 cup of the stuff provides 688 milligrams (mg) of potassium, which is 63 percent more than you'll find in a medium banana. And guava may be the ultimate high-fiber food: There's almost 9 grams (g) of fiber in every cup.

How to eat it: Down the entire fruit, from the rind to the seeds. It's all edible -- and nutritious. The rind alone has more vitamin C than you'd find in the flesh of an orange. You can score guava in the produce section of higher-end supermarkets or in Latin grocery stores.

4. Swiss chard

Hidden in the leafy-greens cooler of your market, you'll find this slightly bitter, salty vegetable, which is actually native to the Mediterranean.

Why it's healthy: A half cup of cooked Swiss chard provides a huge amount of both lutein and zeaxanthin, supplying 10 mg each. These plant chemicals, known as carotenoids, protect your retinas from the damage of aging, according to Harvard researchers. That's because both nutrients, which are actually pigments, appear to accumulate in your retinas, where they absorb the type of shortwave light rays that can damage your eyes.

So the more lutein and zeaxanthin you eat, the better your internal eye protection will be.

How to eat it: Chard goes great with grilled steaks and chicken, and it also works well as a bed for pan-seared fish. Wash and dry a bunch of Swiss chard, and then chop the leaves and stems into 1-inch pieces. Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a large sauté pan or wok, and add two garlic cloves that you've peeled and lightly crushed. When the oil smokes lightly, add the chard. Sauté for 5 to 7 minutes, until the leaves wilt and the stems are tender. Remove the garlic cloves and season the chard with salt and pepper.

5. Cinnamon

This old-world spice usually reaches most men's stomachs only when it's mixed with sugar and stuck to a roll.

Why it's healthy: Cinnamon helps control your blood sugar, which influences your risk of heart disease. In fact, USDA researchers found that people with type-2 diabetes who consumed 1 g of cinnamon a day for 6 weeks (about 1/4 teaspoon each day) significantly reduced not only their blood sugar but also their triglycerides and LDL (bad) cholesterol. Credit the spice's active ingredients, methylhydroxychalcone polymers, which increase your cells' ability to metabolize sugar by up to 20 times.

How to eat it: You don't need the fancy oils and extracts sold at vitamin stores; just sprinkle the stuff that's in your spice rack (or in the shaker at Starbucks) into your coffee or on your oatmeal.

6. Purslane

Although the FDA classifies purslane as a broad-leaved weed, it's a popular vegetable and herb in many other countries, including China, Mexico, and Greece.

Why it's healthy: Purslane has the highest amount of heart-healthy omega-3 fats of any edible plant, according to researchers at the University of Texas at San Antonio. The scientists also report that this herb has 10 to 20 times more melatonin -- an antioxidant that may inhibit cancer growth -- than any other fruit or vegetable tested.

How to eat it: In a salad. Think of purslane as a great alternative or addition to lettuce: The leaves and stems are crisp, chewy, and succulent, and they have a mild lemony taste. Look for it at your local farmer's market, or Chinese or Mexican market. It's also available at some Whole Foods stores, as an individual leafy green or in premade salad mixes.

7. Pomegranate juice

A popular drink for decades in the Middle East, pomegranate juice has become widely available only recently in the United States.

Why it's healthy: Israeli scientists discovered that men who downed just 2 ounces of pomegranate juice daily for a year decreased their systolic (top number) blood pressure by 21 percent and significantly improved bloodflow to their hearts. What's more, 4 ounces provides 50 percent of your daily vitamin C needs.

How to drink it: Try 100 percent pomegranate juice from Pom Wonderful. It contains no added sugars, and because it's so powerful, a small glassful is all you need. (For a list of retailers, go to www.pomwonderful.com.)

8. Goji berries

These raisin-size fruits are chewy and taste like a cross between a cranberry and a cherry. More important, these potent berries have been used as a medicinal food in Tibet for over 1,700 years.

Why they're healthy: Goji berries have one of the highest ORAC ratings -- a method of gauging antioxidant power -- of any fruit, according to Tufts University researchers. And although modern scientists began to study this ancient berry only recently, they've found that the sugars that make goji berries sweet reduce insulin resistance -- a risk factor of diabetes -- in rats.

How to eat them: Mix dried or fresh goji berries with a cup of plain yogurt, sprinkle them on your oatmeal or cold cereal, or enjoy a handful by themselves. You can find them at specialty supermarkets or at gojiberries.us.

9. Dried plums

You may know these better by the moniker "prunes," which are indelibly linked with nursing homes and bathroom habits. And that explains why, in an effort to revive this delicious fruit's image, producers now market them under another name.

Why they're healthy: Prunes contain high amounts of neochlorogenic and chlorogenic acids, antioxidants that are particularly effective at combating the "superoxide anion radical." This nasty free radical causes structural damage to your cells, and such damage is thought to be one of the primary causes of cancer.

How to eat them: As an appetizer. Wrap a paper-thin slice of prosciutto around each dried plum and secure with a toothpick. Bake in a 400°F oven for 10 to 15 minutes, until the plums are soft and the prosciutto is crispy. Most of the fat will cook off, and you'll be left with a decadent-tasting treat that's sweet, savory, and healthy.

10. Pumpkin seeds

These jack-o'-lantern waste products are the most nutritious part of the pumpkin.

Why they're healthy: Downing pumpkin seeds is the easiest way to consume more magnesium. That's important because French researchers recently determined that men with the highest levels of magnesium in their blood have a 40 percent lower risk of early death than those with the lowest levels. And on average, men consume 353 mg of the mineral daily, well under the 420 mg minimum recommended by the USDA.

How to eat them: Whole, shells and all. (The shells provide extra fiber.) Roasted pumpkin seeds contain 150 mg of magnesium per ounce; add them to your regular diet and you'll easily hit your daily target of 420 mg. Look for them in the snack or health-food section of your grocery store, next to the peanuts, almonds, and sunflower seeds.

Antioxidants, Explained

The science is clear: Plant foods are good for you. And the credit often goes to chemicals they produce called antioxidants. Just as the name suggests, antioxidants help protect your cells against oxidation. Think of oxidation as rust. This rust is caused by free radicals, which are unstable oxygen atoms that attack your cells, inducing DNA damage that leads to cancer. Thankfully, antioxidants help stabilize free radicals, which keeps the rogue atoms from harming your cells.

So by eating more antioxidant-rich foods, you'll boost the amount of the disease-fighting chemicals floating in your bloodstream. The result: Every bite fortifies your body with all-natural preventive medicine.

7 Steps to Becoming a Happier Person

By Tom Valeo
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Cynthia Dennison Haines, MD

A popular greeting card attributes this quote to Henry David Thoreau: “Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”

With all due respect to the author of Walden, that just isn’t so, according to a growing number of psychologists. You can choose to be happy, they say. You can chase down that elusive butterfly and get it to sit on your shoulder. How? In part, by simply making the effort to monitor the workings of your mind.

Research has shown that your talent for happiness is, to a large degree, determined by your genes. Psychology professor David T. Lykken, author of Happiness: Its Nature and Nurture, says that “trying to be happier is like trying to be taller.” We each have a “happiness set point,” he argues, and move away from it only slightly.

And yet, psychologists who study happiness -- including Lykken -- believe we can pursue happiness. We can do this by thwarting negative emotions such as pessimism, resentment, and anger. And we can foster positive emotions, such as empathy, serenity, and especially gratitude.

Happiness Strategy # 1: Don't Worry, Choose Happy

The first step, however, is to make a conscious choice to boost your happiness. In his book, The Conquest of Happiness, published in 1930, the philosopher Bertrand Russell had this to say: “Happiness is not, except in very rare cases, something that drops into the mouth, like a ripe fruit. … Happiness must be, for most men and women, an achievement rather than a gift of the gods, and in this achievement, effort, both inward and outward, must play a great part.”

Today, psychologists who study happiness heartily agree. The intention to be happy is the first of The 9 Choices of Happy People listed by authors Rick Foster and Greg Hicks in their book of the same name.

“Intention is the active desire and commitment to be happy,” they write. “It’s the decision to consciously choose attitudes and behaviors that lead to happiness over unhappiness.”

Tom G. Stevens, PhD, titled his book with the bold assertion, You Can Choose to Be Happy. “Choose to make happiness a top goal,” Stevens tells WebMD. “Choose to take advantage of opportunities to learn how to be happy. For example, reprogram your beliefs and values. Learn good self-management skills, good interpersonal skills, and good career-related skills. Choose to be in environments and around people that increase your probability of happiness. The persons who become the happiest and grow the most are those who also make truth and their own personal growth primary values.”

In short, we may be born with a happiness “set point,” as Lykken calls it, but we are not stuck there. Happiness also depends on how we manage our emotions and our relationships with others.

Jon Haidt, author of The Happiness Hypothesis, teaches positive psychology. He actually assigns his students to make themselves happier during the semester.

“They have to say exactly what technique they will use,” says Haidt, a professor at the University of Virginia, in Charlottesville. “They may choose to be more forgiving or more grateful. They may learn to identify negative thoughts so they can challenge them. For example, when someone crosses you, in your mind you build a case against that person, but that’s very damaging to relationships. So they may learn to shut up their inner lawyer and stop building these cases against people.”

Once you’ve decided to be happier, you can choose strategies for achieving happiness. Psychologists who study happiness tend to agree on ones like these.

Happiness Strategy #2: Cultivate Gratitude

In his book, Authentic Happiness, University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman encourages readers to perform a daily “gratitude exercise.” It involves listing a few things that make them grateful. This shifts people away from bitterness and despair, he says, and promotes happiness.

Happiness Strategy #3: Foster Forgiveness

Holding a grudge and nursing grievances can affect physical as well as mental health, according to a rapidly growing body of research. One way to curtail these kinds of feelings is to foster forgiveness. This reduces the power of bad events to create bitterness and resentment, say Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons, happiness researchers who edited The Psychology of Happiness.

In his book, Five Steps to Forgiveness, clinical psychologist Everett Worthington Jr. offers a 5-step process he calls REACH. First, recall the hurt. Then empathize and try to understand the act from the perpetrator’s point of view. Be altruistic by recalling a time in your life when you were forgiven. Commit to putting your forgiveness into words. You can do this either in a letter to the person you’re forgiving or in your journal. Finally, try to hold on to the forgiveness. Don’t dwell on your anger, hurt, and desire for vengeance.

The alternative to forgiveness is mulling over a transgression. This is a form of chronic stress, says Worthington.

“Rumination is the mental health bad boy,” Worthington tells WebMD. “It’s associated with almost everything bad in the mental health field -- obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety -- probably hives, too.”

Happiness Strategy #4: Counteract Negative Thoughts and Feelings

As Jon Haidt puts it, improve your mental hygiene. In The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt compares the mind to a man riding an elephant. The elephant represents the powerful thoughts and feelings -- mostly unconscious -- that drive your behavior. The man, although much weaker, can exert control over the elephant, just as you can exert control over negative thoughts and feelings.

“The key is a commitment to doing the things necessary to retrain the elephant,” Haidt says. “And the evidence suggests there’s a lot you can do. It just takes work.”

For example, you can practice meditation, rhythmic breathing, yoga, or relaxation techniques to quell anxiety and promote serenity. You can learn to recognize and challenge thoughts you have about being inadequate and helpless.

“If you learn techniques for identifying negative thoughts, then it’s easier to challenge them,” Haidt said. “Sometimes just reading David Burns’ book, Feeling Good, can have a positive effect.”

Happiness Strategy #5: Remember, Money Can’t Buy Happiness

Research shows that once income climbs above the poverty level, more money brings very little extra happiness. Yet, “we keep assuming that because things aren’t bringing us happiness, they’re the wrong things, rather than recognizing that the pursuit itself is futile,” writes Daniel Gilbert in his book, Stumbling on Happiness. “Regardless of what we achieve in the pursuit of stuff, it’s never going to bring about an enduring state of happiness.”

Happiness Strategy #6: Foster Friendship

There are few better antidotes to unhappiness than close friendships with people who care about you, says David G. Myers, author of The Pursuit of Happiness. One Australian study found that people over 70 who had the strongest network of friends lived much longer.

“Sadly, our increasingly individualistic society suffers from impoverished social connections, which some psychologists believe is a cause of today’s epidemic levels of depression,” Myers writes. “The social ties that bind also provide support in difficult times.”

Happiness Strategy #7: Engage in Meaningful Activities

People are seldom happier, says psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, than when they’re in the “flow.” This is a state in which your mind becomes thoroughly absorbed in a meaningful task that challenges your abilities. Yet, he has found that the most common leisure time activity -- watching TV -- produces some of the lowest levels of happiness.

To get more out of life, we need to put more into it, says Csikszentmihalyi. “Active leisure that helps a person grow does not come easily,” he writes in Finding Flow. “Each of the flow-producing activities requires an initial investment of attention before it begins to be enjoyable.”

So it turns out that happiness can be a matter of choice -- not just luck. Some people are lucky enough to possess genes that foster happiness. However, certain thought patterns and interpersonal skills definitely help people become an “epicure of experience,” says David Lykken, whose name, in Norwegian, means “the happiness.”

Male Sexual Problems Made Simple

A sexual problem, or sexual dysfunction, refers to a problem during any phase of the sexual response cycle that prevents the man or couple from experiencing satisfaction from the activity. The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

While research suggests that sexual dysfunction is common (43% of women and 31% of men report some degree of difficulty), it is a topic that many people are hesitant to discuss. Fortunately, most cases of sexual dysfunction are treatable, so it is important to share your concerns with your partner and doctor.

What Causes Male Sexual Problems?

Sexual dysfunction can be a result of a physical or psychological problem.

• Physical causes: Many physical and/or medical conditions can cause problems with sexual function. These conditions include diabetes, heart and vascular (blood vessel) disease, neurological disorders, hormonal imbalances, chronic diseases such as kidney or liver failure, and alcoholism and drug abuse. In addition, the side effects of certain medications, including some antidepressant drugs, can affect sexual desire and function.
• Psychological causes: These include work-related stress and anxiety, concern about sexual performance, marital or relationship problems, depression, feelings of guilt, and the effects of a past sexual trauma.

Who Is Affected by Sexual Problems?

Both men and women are affected by sexual problems. Sexual problems occur in adults of all ages. Among those commonly affected are those in the geriatric population, which may be related to a decline in health associated with aging.

How Do Sexual Problems Affect Men?

The most common sexual problems in men are ejaculation disorders, erectile dysfunction and inhibited sexual desire.

What Are Ejaculation Disorders?

There are different types of ejaculation disorders in men, including:

• Premature ejaculation: This refers to ejaculation that occurs before or soon after penetration.
• Inhibited or retarded ejaculation: This is when ejaculation is slow to occur.
• Retrograde ejaculation: This occurs when, at orgasm, the ejaculate is forced back into the bladder rather than through the urethra and out the end of the penis.

In some cases, premature and inhibited ejaculation are caused by psychological factors, including a strict religious background that causes the person to view sex as sinful, a lack of attraction for a partner, and past traumatic events. Premature ejaculation, the most common form of sexual dysfunction in men, often is due to nervousness over how well he will perform during sex. Certain drugs, including some anti-depressants, may affect ejaculation, as can nerve damage to the spinal cord or back.

Retrograde ejaculation is common in males with diabetes who suffer from diabetic neuropathy (nerve damage). This is due to problems with the nerves in the bladder and the bladder neck that allow the ejaculate to flow backward. In other men, retrograde ejaculation occurs after operations on the bladder neck or prostate, or after certain abdominal operations. In addition, certain medications, particularly those used to treat mood disorders, may cause problems with ejaculation.

What Is Erectile Dysfunction?

Also known as impotence, erectile dysfunction is defined as the inability to attain and/or maintain an erection suitable for intercourse. Causes of erectile dysfunction include diseases affecting blood flow, such as atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries); nerve disorders; psychological factors, such as stress, depression, and performance anxiety (nervousness over his ability to sexually perform); and injury to the penis. Chronic illness, certain medications, and a condition called Peyronie's disease (scar tissue in the penis) also can cause erectile dysfunction.

What Is Inhibited Sexual Desire?

Inhibited desire, or loss of libido, refers to a decrease in desire for, or interest in sexual activity. Reduced libido can result from physical or psychological factors. It has been associated with low levels of the hormone testosterone. It also may be caused by psychological problems, such as anxiety and depression; medical illnesses, such as diabetes and high blood pressure; certain medications, including some anti-depressants; and relationship difficulties.

How Are Male Sexual Problems Diagnosed?

The doctor likely will begin with a thorough history of symptoms and a physical exam. He or she may order other tests to rule out any medical problems that may be contributing to the dysfunction. The doctor may refer you to other doctors, including an urologist (a doctor specializing in the urinary tract and male reproductive system), an endocrinologist (a doctor specializing in glandular disorders), a neurologist (a doctor specializing in disorders of the nervous system), sex therapists, and other counselors.

What Tests Are Used to Evaluate Sexual Problems?

The doctor likely will begin with a thorough history of symptoms and a physical exam. He or she may order other tests to rule out any medical problems that may be contributing to the dysfunction. The doctor may refer you to other doctors, including an urologist (a doctor specializing in the urinary tract and male reproductive system), an endocrinologist (a doctor specializing in glandular disorders), a neurologist (a doctor specializing in disorders of the nervous system), sex therapists, and other counselors.

How Is Male Sexual Dysfunction Treated?

Many cases of sexual dysfunction can be corrected by treating the underlying physical or psychological problems. Treatment strategies may include the following:

• Medical treatment: This involves treatment of any physical problem that may be contributing to a man's sexual dysfunction.
• Medications: Medications, such as the impotence drugs Viagra or Levitra, may help improve sexual function in men by increasing blood flow to the penis.
• Hormones: Men with low levels of testosterone may benefit from testosterone replacement therapy.
• Psychological therapy: Therapy with a trained counselor can help a person address feelings of anxiety, fear, or guilt that may have an impact on sexual function.
• Mechanical aids: Aids such as vacuum devices and penile implants may help men with erectile dysfunction.
• Education and communication: Education about sex and sexual behaviors and responses may help a man overcome his anxieties about sexual performance. Open dialogue with your partner about your needs and concerns also helps to overcome many barriers to a healthy sex life.

Can Sexual Problems Be Cured?

The success of treatment for sexual dysfunction depends on the underlying cause of the problem. The outlook is good for dysfunction that is related to a treatable or reversible physical condition. Mild dysfunction that is related to stress, fear, or anxiety often can be successfully treated with counseling, education and improved communication between partners.

Can Sexual Problems Be Prevented?

While sexual problems cannot be prevented, dealing with the underlying causes of the dysfunction can help you better understand and cope with the problem when it occurs. There are some things you can do to help maintain good sexual function:

• Follow your doctor's treatment plan for any medical/health conditions.
• Limit your alcohol intake.
• Quit smoking.
• Deal with any emotional or psychological issues such as stress, depression, and anxiety. Get treatment as needed.
• Increase communication with your partner.

When Should I Call My Doctor?

Many men experience a problem with sexual function from time to time. However, when the problems are persistent, they can cause distress for the man and his partner, and have a negative impact on their relationship. If you consistently experience sexual function problems, see your doctor for evaluation and treatment.

Reviewed by the doctors at The Cleveland Clinic Department of Psychiatry and Psychology.

Happiness May Be in the Genes

Study Shows Inherited Personality Traits Play a Key Role in Happiness

By Salynn Boyles
WebMD Medical News

Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

March 5, 2008 -- People tend to be hardwired for happiness, and new genetic research may help explain why.

Past studies suggest that while 50% of happiness is due to situational factors like health, relationships, and career, the other 50% is due to genes.

The new research identified largely inherited personality traits that researchers say are responsible for much of the genetic influence on happiness.

Having the right mix of these inherited traits leads to a "reserve" of happiness that can be called on in times of stress, they say.

"Traits like being active, sociable, conscientious, and not being overly anxious are related to happiness -- and these are also traits that are inherited," researcher Timothy Bates, PhD, tells WebMD.

(Are you happy? Do you believe that your genes make you happy or that you determine your own happiness? Talk about it on WebMD's Health Cafe message board.)

Genes and the Pursuit of Happiness

Bates and University of Edinburgh colleagues Alexander Weiss, PhD, and Michelle Luciano, PhD, have studied the science of happiness for the past 15 years.

Their latest study involved more than 900 identical and non-identical twin pairs who completed a standardized questionnaire designed to identify personality traits.

Since identical twins share all the same genes and non-identical twins do not, the researchers say they were able to determine the influence of genes on the personality traits and on happiness.

"Together with life and liberty, the pursuit of happiness is a core human desire," Weiss notes in a news release. "Although happiness is subject to a wide range of external influence, we have found that there is a heritable component of happiness which can be entirely explained by genetic architecture of personality."

The study appears in the March issue of the journal Psychological Science.

Achieving Happiness by Setting Goals

The findings do not mean that people who don't inherit happiness traits are destined to lead miserable lives, Bates says.

Bates, Weiss, and Luciano are studying whether adopting the traits associated with happiness can make people happy. Early findings suggest it can.

Since setting and achieving goals is a common trait in conscientious people, and conscientiousness is linked to happiness, study participants were asked to set five achievable goals that could be accomplished in a week.

"As soon as people started working toward these goals their happiness scores went up," Bates says. "When they were no longer working toward a goal their happiness scores dropped."

So while some people are genetically predisposed to being goal-oriented and others are not, the research suggests that it is the behavior that drives happiness, whether or not it comes naturally.

People who stay physically active and socially connected also tend to be happier, so adopting these traits is important for people who are naturally introverted, Bates says.

Can Money Buy Happiness?

The research builds on work done over 20 years suggesting a clear role for genes in happiness.

Situational factors do matter, Bates says, but they don't tend to affect happiness long term.

Studies consistently show that rich people are not much happier than poor people, and even people with severe physical disabilities tend to find happiness over time, he says.

"This is what led to the thinking that certain people must have some reserve that allows them to remain at a fairly stable level of happiness despite their situation," he adds.

The research also suggests that happiness is tied to a sense of responsibility and achievement.

"The way to pursue happiness is surprisingly virtuous," Bates concludes. "A sense of humility, working for the things you want, counting your blessings, being sociable, and staying active all play a part."

How to get every thing you want in life

Experts and women like you share simple tips for landing whatever your heart desires, whether its comfy shoes or your share of the American pie. But sometimes knowing - really knowing - what you want is the hardest part of all.

A few weeks ago, I went backpacking in the canyons of southern Utah with nine other women. Our ages spanned three decades, 23 to 53, our occupations-lawyer, bookseller, botanist, social worker, yoga instructor (to name only a few)-were as varied as the colors of the desert flowers that were just starting to bloom on all sides of our campsite. We spent our days hiking, cooling our bodies in pools the creek had carved into the canyon floor. We wrote in our journals. We talked long into the warm spring evenings about our lives and the changes we wanted to make in them.

Danika had put her scientific studies on hold to build schools and medical facilities in earthquake-ravaged Pakistan. Sarah was considering giving up a 10-year career guiding troubled teens in the wilderness for something more stable, more lucrative, more relationship-friendly. Amy was about to go to law school, though she wasn't entirely sure why, because no matter how hard she tried she couldn't imagine herself as a lawyer.

Three days after the trip ended I would fly to New Orleans, to accompany the man in my life on a drive back to Colorado, where he would move in with me and my four Irish wolfhounds. We'd been friends for 20 years, long-distance lovers for one, and this next step seemed on the one hand inevitable, and on the other absolutely insane, given the history of relationship disasters we had each left in our separate paths.

Each of us women on the backpacking trip was at some kind of crossroads, and we all kept coming back to the same questions: How do we know when we are truly following our heart's desire? How can we tell the difference between our one true voice, and all the other voices that have taken up residence in our head and constantly compete for our attention, telling us what we should and should not do? How can we tell the difference between what the people who love us want for us, and what we want for ourselves? How do we learn to quiet the nay-saying voices that belong to bad fathers and bad bosses and bad TV shows that tell us all the things we can't have, and get quiet enough, brave enough, to imagine the life we truly want?

My mother wanted desperately for me to be an actress; my father wanted me to be Chris Evert. For the first 12 years of my life I played tennis as though my life depended on it, and I went into Manhattan a couple of times a week with my mother to audition for commercials and soaps. I couldn't seem to stop running around my backhand, though, and I never got the knack of saying I liked the potato chip if I didn't like the potato chip. When I came home from an eighth-grade exchange program in Wales and announced I wanted to be a writer, my parents' suspicions that I was an alien baby were confirmed. I understand now that it was the width of the Atlantic Ocean that afforded me the time and space to begin to separate my parents' dreams from my own. My mother eventually learned to see the writing life as "a kind of acting," but my father's frustration with my choice lasted as long as his life. And though they have both been gone many years, I still feel their desires in my own decision-making, still hear their disappointments echoed in the advice of friends and lovers, still find it so hard not to act on behalf of them, or in spite of them. Where in all of that longing, do I find the voice that speaks more softly than all the others: my own?

What further complicates this process for me and all women, I think, is our capacity for empathy, our penchant for caretaking, the way we can't seem to be truly satisfied unless we are doing something for someone other than ourselves. Our generous nature is the best of things about us, but we run into trouble when generosity turns into martyrdom and resentment, when our good intentions toward those we love deafen us to that quieter call of our own desires.

Over a breakfast of strong coffee, dried apricots, and granola, I asked my hiking companions how they knew when their truest voice was speaking.

Tami, the owner of a marketing agency, has come to the Utah canyons from Sonoma, CA. The energy she feels around a heart's desire is completely different from what she feels about a "should." She feels a genuine pull, the excitement of what if, and also the fear. Following a heart's desire involves risk: starting her own business, falling in love, writing fiction, running a marathon for the first time. She has to try it, and she has to be willing to fail. When she is in the realm of the shoulds, she is 100 percent in her logical brain, and she has total confidence in her abilities-she is doing what her head knows she is good at, rather than what her heart longs to try. And the shoulds can be an important part of the process. "Sometimes," she says, "the confidence you build up from all the shoulds is what allows you to reach for your heart's desire."

I have an extremely competent analytical brain, so I've been told by the standardized testing people, and in many situations it serves me well. I am an excellent chess player, I usually know what is about to happen next in the movie, and I have been able to win most of the arguments with most of the men who have lived with me, without crying or slamming doors. But my overactive (some would say obsessive) analytical brain can be the biggest impediment to listening to my heart's desire. In fact, sometimes I have to trick my logical brain into looking the other way for a minute to give my intuitive brain the floor. I look into the short stories and novels I write to see if my heart's desire is hiding in their plotlines, and into my dreams, and into the most passionate advice I give my friends. I pay attention to what my body is doing when I talk or think about a new life path.

Is my chest open or closed? Am I standing straight or slumping? And most important, am I breathing? And how deeply? If I can't remember the last time I filled my diaphragm with air, I am probably making the wrong decision.

Out in the wilderness of southern Utah, the Red Rock Canyons served as a makeshift Atlantic Ocean, giving me enough space to think about moving in with my old friend Gary. I let the questions come: Was I breathing deeply? Was that happy nervous excitement in my voice, or abject fear? For the life of me, I couldn't be certain.

Barb, a simulation analysis engineer from Minneapolis, says that for her, fear is always part of the equation, but if she is doing something not because of fear, but despite fear, then she is doing what her heart desires. "If I don't hesitate, if I don't start trying to come up with all kinds of logic that will support my decision, it is probably the right one. If I have to talk myself into something, it's usually because I am trying to convince myself to do something that doesn't feel right in my gut."

Gail Harris has written a book called Your Heart Knows The Answer: How To Trust Yourself & Make the Choices That Are Right For You, which outlines strategies and simple practices to help you tune into your truest voice. "The voice of the heart is always positive and loving," she says, "even when it is asking us to change. It is direct and specific, empowering, grounding, centering, and relaxing. It is unwavering. It will keep telling you the same thing over and over, but it won't use your own logic against you. If it is negative and critical, it is not the voice of your heart."

After all the soul-searching and second-guessing and the final banishment of lingering doubt, Harris notes, the execution of our plans can seem like the easy part. Once you let yourself know that what you really want is to start a catering business, you head to Kinko's for business cards and flyers, check the want ads for kitchen space, and call up those rich friends who always rave about your cooking and see how much they would like to invest. If you've always wanted to write a novel, but have three kids under 6, you look into day care, call in a favor from your sister, and set the alarm for 3 a.m.

As the 10 of us heaved our packs on our backs for the final time on that backpacking trip, they felt lighter. (They were lighter, of course, after all the food we'd eaten, but we felt even more deeply unburdened.) The decision-making was behind us. Danika had a grade school to build in Pakistan, Sarah was off to find a new place to live. Tami had her brand new business to attend to in Sonoma. And me? I had to go clear shelves and drawers for Gary, and welcome him with a big, generous, open heart. And if I failed, if any of us failed, we would know we had tried our best to listen to our heart's desire, and moved forward, with honesty and commitment, and enough belief in ourselves to spread some around.

We have the right, the tools, and the capacity to live precisely the lives we want to. We are the gender that lifts cars off of babies, wins the Iditarod, and swims the English Channel, after all, and anyone who gets in the way of our heart's desire once we have really made up our minds better watch out.

1) Get a better credit score (fast!)

Give your credit score a quick boost simply by increasing your line of credit (just call your credit card company and ask). A third of your score is based on your debt-to-credit ratio, so your $2,000 credit card bill looks less risky to banks if it represents half of a $4,000 credit line rather than most of a $2,500 one.

2) Ditch a bad mood in minutes.

Hyla Cass, M.D., assistant professor of psychiatry at UCLA School of Medicine and author of 8 Weeks to Vibrant Health says there's one easy way to get a pick-me-up anytime, anywhere: Get moving. Take a brisk 10-minute walk, or jog up and down stairs for five minutes. Exercise sends a shot of oxygen to your brain, and boosts endorphins in your bloodstream-both of which short-circuit crankiness. So when you're so grouchy that even you're annoyed with you, do yourself (and everyone around you) a favor. Take a hike.

4) Find a reliable auto mechanic

NPR's "Car Talk" and its hosts Click and Clack have long been the go-to source for perplexed drivers dealing with stuck dipsticks, mysterious rattles, and more. So it makes perfect sense that they'd be the holders of that holy grail all car owners seek: the trustworthy mechanic. The "Car Talk" website (cartalk.com/content/mechx) features more than 16,000 mechanics recommended by people who've used them; just enter your zip code to find the garage nearest you.

5) Develop perfect posture

Having good posture makes you look thinner and ooze confidence-it also helps ease back pain and headaches. Here, three steps to posture that would make Mom proud, courtesy of Drew DeMann, M.D., chiropractic orthopedist at Manhattan Spine & Sports Medicine in New York City.

1. Check your alignment. Many women have rounded shoulders and a C-curve in their back from sitting hunched over a desk all day, says DeMann. So ask a friend to take a photo of you from the side (or check yourself out in a double mirror at the department store). Your earlobe should be over your shoulder and hip. If it's forward of them, you need to correct your posture.
2. Learn what good posture feels like. Straighten your spine as if there were a string stretching from the top of your head to the ceiling, pulling you up. This is how you should carry yourself.
3. Practice, practice, practice. Doing the above exercise on a regular basis will train your body to stand and sit up straight. Strengthening your upper back and abdominal muscles will help you maintain good posture; try lat pulldowns in the gym or do the cobra yoga move.

6) Tasty snacks that don't break the calorie bank

These five treats are all under 200 calories:

* 5 whole-grain crackers (such as Wheat Thins) topped with 1 Tbsp natural peanut butter 184 calories
* 1 oz premium dark chocolate, such as Vivani, Feodora, or Lindt 150 calories
* ¼ cup guacamole and 8 blue-corn tortilla chips 190 Calories
* 1 oz (small handful) dark-chocolate covered almonds or peanuts 160 Calories

Fruit and cheese
* 1 sliced green apple served with 2 oz of light cheddar cheese cubes or 1 light Laughing Cow snack cheese. 189 calories

7) Sign a sophisticated signature

A scribbled scrawl might say something about you-but is it saying anything good? Andrea McNichol, author of Handwriting Analysis Putting It To Work For You says no. Try holding your arm and hand away from your body when signing your name. This naturally creates a more generously spaced signature, which is more attractive and memorable.

Other tips: Always end your autograph with a stroke to the right-ending it to the left means you're living in the past. And skip flourishes like excessive underlining, swirls, or oversize letters (don't even think about heart-dotted i's); these things will make you seem attention-hungry, not like the history maker you know you were born to be.

8) Get more foreplay

He opts for fast and furious; you'd like him to loiter. Sex educator and REDBOOK Love Network expert Lou Paget offers these tips on how to get your man to lengthen the passion prelude:

Drive home the message that more foreplay will lead to more sex and your guy will go along with most anything you request. Say, "If you kiss me the way you used to for three more minutes, it will really get me hot." He'll dive in for a make-out session pronto.

Stroke his ego. Think of a move he does well, tell him it drives you crazy, and ask for more of it-he'll cooperate.

Request, rather than demand; he's more likely to respond if he doesn't feel criticized. Better yet, show, don't tell: Take his hand and guide it in the way you like to be touched-the visuals of you getting aroused will be enough to make him pay attention.

9) A tropical vacation that doesn't cost a fortune

Break out your beach bag. Paradise can come cheap-and you don't even have to plan months in advance. Bookmark these websites:

site59.com lets you book up to three hours prior to your flight (five hours for international). By selling off packages that would otherwise go unbooked, the site can save you up to 70 percent!

11thhour.com is also procrastinator-friendly. You can even hold packages for 24 hours before purchasing, which is handy when you're not quite sure if your best friend prefers window or aisle.

If your dates are flexible, sign up at travelzoo.com for their “Top 20” weekly e-mail to learn about new deals as they become available.

10) An on-call tech guy for your home

Tired of tussling with tech support? Meet the Geek Squad. This 24-hour computer-support task force comes to your doorstep for a flat fee (varies with service) and rescues you from e-purgatory: whether it's a crashed computer ($99) or an iPod that just won't connect ($49). Geek Squad also offers computer help via the telephone, at stand-alone stores and at Geek Squad stations inside Best Buy stores. Hey, even the FBI (yep, that's right) has relied on these guys for tech support. Need we say more? geeksquad.com

11) A never-fail-you lipstick

Who wants to wade through the thousands of colors at the cosmetics counter? You need lipstick that looks great and you need it now. According to Ramy Gafni, New York City-based makeup artist, a berry shade with golden flecks works on everyone. What makes this hue so wearable? "It combines the same undertones found in every woman's natural lip color-blue, pink, and yellow," says Gafni. Get it: Ramy 2Lips Kiss and Tell, $21, or Sephora Super Shimmer Lip Gloss in Rosy Glow, $10.

12) The satisfaction of helping others (without becoming a UN Ambassador)

Have an itch to do some good? Go to volunteersolutions.org, type in your zip code, and choose a social issue that interests you. The site will match you up with a local organization dedicated to the same cause you are.

13) Find the cleanest stall in a public bathroom

Choose the first stall when you walk in. When there are three stalls in a row, most people choose the middle one so it's the dirtiest, says Charles Gerba, a microbiologist.

14) Jeans that fit perfectly

It's Goldilocks's worst fashion nightmare: Jeans are always too tight, too long, too short, or just too plain expensive. Land's End to the rescue: Go to landsend.com and fill out a brief profile, including your measurements, fabric choice, and style. Then, for only $54, you'll get custom jeans that are just right...for you!

15) A great-and believable-line to give your husband when he wants to have sex and you don't

"No, no, I'm into it, really. It's cool. Let me go wash up, Dad-I mean, Bob! Oh no, now I've ruined the moment."-Amy Sedaris

16) Find an umbrella that won't break

You were singing in the rain until your umbrella blew inside out and now you're decidedly...soggy. For the third time today. There is a solution: The Gustbuster's two layers of sturdy 190-thread count nylon are designed to prevent tears and allow air to flow through them, and can withstand winds of 55 m.p.h. or more. It's also backed by a lifetime guarantee. $25-45, gustbuster.com.

17) A foolproof hostess gift for under $20

What's a surefire way to be the best guest? Give your hostess flowers that are already arranged in a chic, simple vase-so she doesn't have to put her party on hold to rummage for one. Handmade from recycled paper and coated, PopVases come in a variety of colors. $6, Traffic Works, 323-582-0616.

18) Get a better price on anything

Know what you want and what it's worth. "A seller who's aware that you're guessing or bluffing will be unlikely to give an inch," advises Holden Lewis of Bankrate.com.

Be a little dramatic. Your "shocked" reaction to a price, even a reasonable one, could bring it down.

Enlist your guy for a little good cop/bad cop act. If a price on a big-ticket item (like a house or a car) isn't as low as you'd like, pretend he won't agree until the figure comes down.

Consider buying multiple items or services at once; a seller who won't budge on a single piece might be willing to cut you a break on a larger sale.

When all else fails, be ready to walk away. If a salesperson is willing to go lower, he'll make you another offer; if he's hit bottom, you can use his best price as a benchmark at another store.

19) Get flat abs in a day

We know, we know. We should have been doing 100 crunches a night for the past six months. But, well, um, we didn't. And now the wedding's this Saturday. Is there any hope? For flat abs tomorrow, "stay away from fruits, dairy, processed carbs, and excessive fats. They can make your body retain water and leave your tummy bloated," says trainer David Kirsch, owner of The Madison Square Club in New York City. We can't promise you'll look like Heidi Klum (one of David's clients), but your belly will be noticeably less noticeable.

20) Shoes that are stylish and comfortable

Think chic comfort is an oxymoron when it comes to your tootsies? Not with these brands!

* Geox, geox.com
* Aerosoles, aerosoles.com
* Faryl Robin, farylrobin.com

21) Get unconditional love

"The most likely path to receiving unconditional love is to give it. As some great philosophers-the Beatles-once said, 'The love you take is equal to the love you make.' It's also important to pick the right person. He doesn't have to be perfect, but he does have to have a track record of being present and loyal even during rough times."- REDBOOK Love Network expert David Wexler, Ph.D., executive director of the Relationship Training Institute.

22) Find a last-minute babysitter you can trust.

Your sitter's sick and Mary Poppins isn't likely to drift down anytime soon. These websites are the next best thing. Just type in your zip code and, for a fee (ranging from $40-50 for the first one to three months, $5-10 per month after that), they'll hook you up with reliable child care. Not a bad price to pay for peace of mind; the websites' detailed profiles list things like sitters' certifications (such as CPR), languages spoken, and whether or not they have transportation.

* Sittercity.com
* 4sitters.com
* babysitters.com

Live in an urban area? Parent-tested childcare resources in cities across the country are listed on gocitykids.com. Also, many colleges and universities have babysitting services that pair parents with their students. Check your local schools' websites or call their Office of Human Resources.